20 Questions To Ask Before Dating Someone So You Get To Know Their Vibe Better

Published 1 year ago

Dating in the modern world has undergone many changes with the introduction of social media, dating apps, etc. With so many single people looking for love and so many platforms to find it, how do we know whether the person we are dating is compatible with us?

One Redditor sparked an interesting discussion online when they asked people to share what they thought was a good question to ask someone before starting to date them. Scroll below to check out some of the best answers received ranging from silly to serious and don’t forget to share your own ‘golden date question’ in our comments sections.

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Image source: dont_u_know, Alev Takil

Do you clap when the plane lands?


Image source: cat_named_virtue, Jonathan J. Castellon

Do I like them, or do I just like that they like me?


Image source: Gheerdan, Michelle Ding

How do you feel about a woman’s right to be a fully autonomous person?


Image source: OneFingerIn, Dan LeFebvre

What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?

djdante replied:

Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps – you can always put on more clothes, I can’t peel my skin off to get cooler…


Image source: CantTakeMeSeriously, Vera Arsic

Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a*****e…they are likely the real a*****e.


Image source: youcantkillanidea, Jonas Leupe

When was the last time you changed your mind about something?

Opens a window to how they think.


Image source: FindMe_SomebodyToLuv, Chewy

Do they have any pets?

You can tell a lot about someone from how they treat and care for their pets, most of the time.


Image source: BlindShithead, Tima Miroshnichenko

How’s your relationship with your parents?

This speaks volumes about many people.


Image source: GoodAlicia, Nikola Saliba

Do you want kids in the future?

If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay childfree, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else.


Image source: Furryhat92, Camylla Battani

Are you pro-life? If I get pregnant, are you going to try to force me to give birth?


Image source: Githard, David Bartus

Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time consuming ones generally done with a SO, but you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love.


Image source: wrenchmonkey135, Drew Coffman

Are you married?

Squibit314 replied:

I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was “would your wife agree?”

If they laughed, they were telling the truth.

If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married.

Worked every time.


Image source: Ancientallove, Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas

While many may not agree with this very direct method if you are truly trying to find a long-term match and not waste either person’s time talk about the big-five as soon as possible. My husband and I had the talk on our second date. We’ve been together since 2015.

The big5 are:

* religion
* politics
* children (to have or to have not)
* finances
* deal breakers: human rights / personal ethics concerns etc.


Ha Ha, these questions reveal more about the questioner than the answerer. I think maybe we should also ask, “What questions when asked by a potential date, are red flags for you?”

Image source: shadetreephilosopher


Image source: KhaosElement, BM Capture

When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you’re not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don’t even try.


Image source: Kooky_Finding8516, Surface

I highly encourage you ask someone you are getting to know what they are excited about in the next few weeks or month.

For me, it’s critically important that the people I dated were optimistic and excited about life. Obviously that’s not mean to disparage mental health struggles. But it was important that I dated someone who had a similar mindset to myself. I’m someone who finds things to be excited about. I find it jarring and off putting to date or be close to someone who can’t identify things they are excited about. They don’t have to be big things. But having a sunny, positive, and agreeable disposition is important – at least in my opinion.


Do you like bread?

That is the extent of my flirting skills.

Image source: HumpieDouglas


“Are you going to be financially dependent on me?”

I wish I’d known that with literally all of my relationships after I turned 18.

Image source: Main-Strike-7392


Image source: BlackLetterLies, Thought Catalog

BIRTH CONTROL. And never believe “I don’t take it because I can’t get pregnant”. Nature… finds a way.


Do you have kids?

I asked that once and she said no. Then later after finding out she had kids, i confronted her about it and she said she didnt want to scare me off.

She got so offended when i asked “so you lied instead? I cant even trust you now.”

Image source: anon

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

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compatibility questions, date questions, Dating, modern dating, relationships
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