“Divorce Lawyers, What’s The Cruellest Thing Someone Did To An Ex-Partner?” (25 Answers)

Once the marriage papers are signed, disentangling all the small but significant details that define a relationship becomes far more complex. Yet, despite this reality, millions willingly step into the shackles of matrimony, intertwining their financial and legal lives. That is, until the breakup. Heartbreak can twist a once-happy, loving, and committed union into something unrecognisable. In the process, people often reveal their true colours, and the uncomfortable truth is that many are not particularly kind when self-preservation is at stake.

#1

Image source: UniqueIndividual3579, daniel-007 / freepik (not the actual photo)

With all the darkness in this thread, something a little lighter. Back in the 80’s you paid a lot for long distance and could call a number for the correct time. A woman sharing an apartment in the US with her boyfriend got a call from him when he was on a trip. He told her move out because he had a new girlfriend.

He gets home a week later and the phone is off the hook. He picks it up and it’s the number for time, in London.

#2

Image source: funkmaster90001, sarah b / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The ex called her job and said she was on substances (she was absolutely not, she voluntarily let them test her and cleared her), called her landlord and said she had 7 animals (she had 2, which she had paid pet deposits for), called CPS on her and said she was driving drunk with the kids (she doesn’t drink). Divorce makes some people go insane. He admitted the reason he did all this was he thought she would come back if she was homeless and jobless.

#3

Image source: DragonflyWing, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Mine seem trivial after reading the other stories here, but they sure felt cruel to me, so here you go.

My ex and I used to do custody exchanges in a parking lot halfway between our homes. One day early in the divorce proceedings, my 3 year old accidentally locked my van doors before getting in her dad’s car, and I got locked out. My ex had a spare key on him, but instead of unlocking my car, he said “you reap what you sow, I guess,” and drove off with the kids, leaving me stranded. It was 96 degrees, and the nearest store was closed. If I hadn’t had my phone in my pocket, I would have been screwed. I had to call the police to come unlock my car, and they almost refused because the title was in my ex’s name. Thankfully, I had a copy of the court order on my phone saying that I had use of the vehicle. My poor kids spent the whole day with their dad worried that I was still sitting in the hot parking lot, because he told them I had no way to get home.

Later in the divorce, when he was trying to “prove” that I was unstable and an unfit mother, he found one of my old journals (I had left with only what I could fit in my van, so most of my things were still in our house) and entered it as evidence in court. So I had to listen to them read all my depressed 17 year old thoughts and feelings in court, in front of both my family and his family. Ultimately the judge and other court officials agreed that a 20 year old journal had absolutely no bearing on my parenting abilities or current mental state, but the whole point was cruelty, and in that he succeeded. The guardian ad litem, who had to go through the whole thing because it was entered as evidence, said she felt dirty reading it because it was such an unnecessary violation.

I’m so glad I’m not his wife anymore.

#4

Image source: TildeGunderson, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

I’m not a divorce lawyer, but this happened to a friend of mine.

A guy I knew was married to this girl that got cancer, and they went through hell to make sure she got better. They kind of disappeared, but after a while, she reappeared and started mentioning that they got divorced because my friend wasn’t supportive of her treatment. He said that he didn’t want to pay for treatment and take her to the doctors and whatnot. From it all, my buddy seemed like a real piece of work and wanted her to die. Our friend group ostracized him quietly, removing him from invites and whatnot because of what she said.

I then got a message from my buddy asking what’s up and why I or other members of the group haven’t talked to him or whatever. I asked how his relationship with his partner was going (playing dumb), and he said that they divorced because she **faked having cancer**. She was eliciting sympathy and getting off the people feeling bad for her, and then disappearing for “cancer treatment” while she went off to go shopping and whatnot. She even shaved her head for the bit, and then painted my bud like a huge jerk when he discovered and divorced her.

I then explained to him what happened from our end, and then we tried to get my other friends to believe his side. He said he didn’t think he’d need to explain himself, and didn’t realize she was going around gaslighting everyone into believing he’s a liar.

#5

Image source: nuclearmonte, Bob van Aubel / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

I was working for a guy going through a contentious divorce (she cheated). He was still paying for all the bills at the house he wasn’t living in because one of his kids was still living there too.

One day the water department came to the office kinda panicked looking for him, they used property records to try to find him (very nice of them, tbh) because the meter reader detected the house was using so many water they feared a massive leak and potential for a sinkhole if it was the main outside. They had a crew ready. He ran over there. She had every water fixture running, every light on, etc. She apparently had been doing this for at least a month, just running up the bills to be a real jerk.

#6

Image source: Frank-Wrench, Jana Ohajdova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Worst I ever heard was a reddit post like 10 years ago. Guy and his wife are fighting over custody of his beloved German Shepherd that he brought to the marriage. She fought and fought in court to get the dog. They ultimately had to split custody but she got the dog first since he was still settling in his new place. When it was his turn he went to get the dog and she handed him a box. She had the dog put to sleep and cremated. That has stayed with me for over a decade.

#7

Image source: Elegant_Tap7937, Robert Laursoo / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Neighbor caught her husband cheating. After she moved out and filed for divorce, she placed an add in the paper. “Will take your old tires and anything too large to take to the dump. Free. Drop off on Saturday in front of garage” (listed his address). He returned from weekend away with the new girlfriend to a lawn full of tires and garbage.

#8

Image source: Cheap-Attitude-1308, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

My brother moved his wife and 3 kids out of Province to a place neither of them knew anyone. Within 8 months, he left his wife of 21 years with 3 kids, 2 disabled (they will need to be taken care of for life) for his coworker. Announced this at his youngest daughter’s 13th Bday party…. 4 months later sold their house from undef his wife without telling her, leaving her and 3 kids homeless. My parents stepped in and bought her a house in her family’s hometown… my brother then put everything in his new GF’s name, quit his job to be “self-employed”, claimed he was losing money, so never had to assist with a penny for child support… he’s a piece of 💩.

#9

Image source: adkssdk, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

When I was in med school, I was admitting this one patient to the hospital and asking if his code status was current. He was listed as DNR which he didn’t know about, because the last time he was in the hospital he was unconscious and his wife, now ex, was acting as his medical proxy. Guess they were having issues at that time.

Edit: I want to make it very clear that medically “Do Not Resuscitate” does not equate do not treat. We will still treat patients to our best ability. Your code status is only in relation to what we do if you die, and often times, especially for really sick people, despite our best efforts, most people don’t come back and those that do often have deficits. Was it bad the ex-wife made a decision obviously against what the patient wanted? Yes. But she was not preventing anyone from providing him medical care while alive.

#10

Image source: ravenous0, Alexander Mils / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Not a divorce attorney, but when I was a kid, one of my mom’s friends was going through a very messy divorce. The lawyer spoke to my mom because she was a witness to the husband’s horrible behavior and she may have to testify so her friend can have custody of her kids.

She never had to testify as her friend was granted full custody with visitations. The following month, the father picked up the kids for their weekend visit, and flew to Brazil. She never heard from her kids until nearly 25 years later when they returned to the US looking for her.

#11

Image source: Majestic-Safety-6586, Adham Ragab / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

My mom told me this, a family on our street growing up (Dublin, 80s) the man was having an affair, the only choice then was separating, but he wanted the kids he was doctor and got her committed to an asylum to get her out of the way. My mom told me it was absolutely the cruelest thing she could ever imagine.

#12

Image source: LovelyLilac73, Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Was friends with two brothers whose parents went through a terrible divorce. Their mother was, frankly, crazy. So was their father, but he was smart, rich and crazy. He decided that while he was willing to support his two sons, he didn’t want to give his STB ex-wife one single dime. So, he tied up the divorce in in court for years until she ran out of money and, because he was well connected in the town that they lived in, he brought up false charges against her which culminated in a media circus, painting her as a monster. While she was nutty, she definitely was NOT a monster and would never hurt her children. But, the public had judged and she was persona non-grata pretty much everywhere in town. The story is longer, more horrible and much more complicated, but the bottom line is their father used his money and his power to DESTROY their mother, and faced almost zero consequences in doing so.

Ultimately, because their father wanted to marry his 19 year old mistress (he was 45 at the time), he eventually let the divorce be completed. As part of the settlement, he bought his ex-wife a house in a town about an hour away for her and the kids to live in. She had custody of the kids during the week and EO weekend. On the alternate weekends, they lived with him and they settled there. This was in the pre-internet days, so no one knew of the media circus and (false) charges in the original town. The party line was she was divorced and relocated in the wake of the divorce. People accepted that and moved on. Child support was given through a third party entity so she had NO contact with her ex whatsoever (understandable). When she dropped the kids off at their father’s house, she literally let them off at the street and made them walk the quarter mile or so to the house (dad lived in a huge lakefront estate) as she refused to even enter his property. You can imagine the toll all of this took on the kids. And, honestly, they seemed to be collateral damage in all of this.

Strangely enough, we’re all grown now (we’re all in our 50s – me and the two brothers). The brothers have both have been happily married for decades now and are raising families of their own. I’m guessing they learned what NOT to do from their parents’ marriage.

The other funny footnote is that the father ended up marrying his 19 year old mistress, and tired of her about 10 years later (maybe, at 29, she was too old for him). However, she was smarter and savvier than the boys’ mother and made divorcing her so potentially ugly and expensive, that they’re still married, on paper, 20+ years later. She gets the advantage of all his money and property, has nothing to do with him and has kept him from marrying anyone else. Couldn’t have happened to a better guy.

#13

Image source: missbehavin21, National Cancer Institute / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

A friend who was a DA of Compton, CA had a case where a person threw acid in the face of the other person. I am not sure if they ever were legally married but this signified the ending of the relationship. The person was horriblely disfigured for life. My friend was upset having to see what was done to the victim and disgusted with humanity with that case.

#14

Image source: NoeTellusom, Olga DeLawrence / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Not a divorce lawyer, but used to be a legal secretary in a law firm that handled a LOT of divorces.

We had one client whose STBX had filled out joint tax returns, had her sign them, then submitted a married filing separately form instead so per the IRS, she hadn’t filed taxes for the 10 years of their marriage. Mind you, he’d done this since the first year of the marriage! Meanwhile, he’d made a big deal out of them enjoying “their” return with day trips, etc. so she never suspected anything.

It was only during their divorce proceedings, as she attempted to go back to college (he hadn’t allowed her to during their marriage), that this was discovered due to her applying for financial aid. Fwiw, the IRS wasn’t even surprised as apparently this happens more often than anyone realizes. They ended up going after him, as she had kept copies of their joint returns.

The whole thing was so petty and mean, we were all floored by it.

#15

Image source: MedievalHag, A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

I remember reading one of these where the dad fought tooth and nail for the kids scrapbook of pictures, etc that mom created. He won them and then walked out of the courthouse and burned them right on the steps/outside of the courthouse.

#16

Image source: whitbymural, fabrikasimf / freepik (not the actual photo)

NAL but someone with a very cruel ex.

We had a 1 yo at the time that I found out about his lengthy affair. He became violent when I tried to leave but I was able to get away with my child, a few important documents, and my cat (that I brought into the marriage).

Between then and when I was able to arrange for family to come help me get the rest, he: threw out all of my original work from my time getting two degrees, destroyed every book of mine and the rest of my clothes, and starved our other pets to d**th (geckos and a snake). All while continuing to see the other woman. Never once asked about our child.

In the years after, he used the courts to financially control me (saying it could all stop if I just came back). He fought tooth and nail for the house, which I gave up without a fight, only to immediately stop paying the mortgage. He destroyed it inside and let it go into foreclosure before my name was removed despite being court ordered to remove it. He also fought for full custody, telling me to my face he’d use every second he was given to teach our child to hate me. He was not awarded more than some weekend visitation.

His affair had been years long and he told me repeatedly that she was his True Love. They lasted four weeks in an actual relationship after I left (she dumped him). My child and I are doing well now.

#17

Image source: KookyDiver2558, Nick Karvounis / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

They owned a restaurant together for years, and paid themselves a salary to run it so taxes would get taken out and all that. He did the books and did not pay SS for her once. When they got divorced at retirement age she found out she didn’t pay for SS. Thank God she had some proof of what he did and she got half his SS payments until they both died 25 years later within 6 months of each other.

#18

Image source: AppropriateAmoeba406, Gaëlle Lewyllie / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Friend’s soon to be ex-wife moved into the condos overlooking the golf course he played on every Sunday. Proceeded to sit on the balcony with her new boyfriend drinking coffee and watching him play each week. Just to throw off his game.

#19

Not a divorce lawyer, but saw a video recently of a guy in a city close to mine getting his butt absolutely handed to him by *his own brothers* because he either threatened to or actually did call ICE on his future ex-wife to get her deported so he wouldn’t have to fight for custody or pay her child support for their son. He apparently brought this up at a family get together, leading to his brothers taking out the trash.

Image source: GingerEccentric

#20

Image source: partisanal_cheese, Chris Ensminger / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

I am not a divorce lawyer; I am a dog owner.

We get our pets as rescues and we love huskies. Our current dog was owned by a couple who fought over him in the proceedings. The person who got the dog immediately put him into a ‘ending’ shelter. That person was a monster.

#21

Image source: thenotsoamerican, zinkevych / freepik (not the actual photo)

Was a legal assistant. The couple was planning to divorce, so they put their 3 kids in therapy. Dad fell in love with the therapist and they hook up. Therapist proceeds to spend the next several months convincing the kids that their mom actually hates them and doesn’t want them. Divorce proceeds and the 3 kids want nothing to do with mom, so dad gets custody. Years later, the oldest kid wises up to the therapist plot and gets in touch with mom. Mom reconnects with all 3 kids and starts custody battle to get them back. After exposing the therapist, she loses her license and mom wins custody. While mom and kids were out to dinner, dad and therapist torch mom’s house.

It was still ongoing, but I quit and never heard anything else about it. I hope mom and kids are healing and doing well.

#22

Image source: Potato-in-ur-ass, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

In the case in question we have husband, wife and two children ages 7 and 10. She immediately brings out the big guns and starts fighting for sole custody of the kids. She grasped for every straw she could, reported him to CPS over and over again for extremely minor issues or simply made up accusations, CPS took his kids several times but every single time their investigation came up clean. It went on until the CPS unit manager called her and said that if she called in with one more false accusation they would volunteer as witnesses against her.

It all ended up exactly where they started: shared custody, every other week.

It was never about the kids. It was about making his life as horrible as she could. She had way more money than him and she knew it, the whole point of the whole process was to run him broke from lawyers fees. In the end it cost him something like 230k to be allowed to still see his kids.

#23

Image source: jumpy_monkey, Matthew Ball / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Not a lawyer but the worst thing was what my aunt did to punish my uncle even though he was d**d.

Their marriage was his second and longest of his nine marriages (or more, we only know of the nine) and the one that lasted the longest, about ten years.

In his final days when he was slowly d**ng from advanced COPD he lived in a trailer park in the desert, and a kindly neighbor lady looked after him. She did his shopping, made him meals, etc. She was in her 80’s and essentially destitute herself so there was no romantic involvement, she was just a good person.

My father was executor and only beneficiary of his will and when all was said and done my uncle d**d with about $300 to his name. My father called my aunt to tell her of his d**th (she had had zero contact with my uncle for years) and he told her he was going to give the neighbor lady the $300. She literally *lost her mind* over it and threatened to sue my father over this piddling amount of money, because her ex-husband “owed her” an ounce of flesh apparently, even after d**th. To be clear my uncle was no peach, he gave as much as he took in the bad spouse department, but the behavior of my aunt appalled my father.

My father gave her the money to make her go away and also gave the neighbor lady $1,000 and told her my uncle had bequeathed it to her because (unlike my uncle and my aunt) he was a fair and compassionate person.

#24

Image source: ATCGcompbio, Anya Prygunova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

People who take their partner’s beloved pet to the vet to be put down as revenge.

#25

Image source: Warm-Ad967, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

I am not a lawyer but when I was a kid, my parents had a nasty divorce. My mum told everyone that she was having an affair with a 20-year-old at my brother birthday party. Weeks after she moved out, she waited until the house was completely empty. I was at school and my dad was at work. She broke in and stole everything. I mean everything from our beds to plugs. She had moving van. One of our neighbours texted my dad asking what going on and by the time we got there it was to late. The house was completely empty. She even stole my dogs. We had to call the police and went to court so many times. She was told by the courts to give back my dogs and she told them she put them down. I haven’t spoken to her since that day. One birthday she burned all my childhood photos and spent me the ashes. She even had the nerve to come back to the house a month because she hadn’t taken the stuff in the attic. She is a very evil woman.