30 People Share How Things Turned Out When Faced With An Ultimatum

Published 1 month ago
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When things are not going their way people often feel like resorting to using an ultimatum. This can lead to mixed results depending on the circumstances and the people involved. If used in a job negotiation chances are things may go south very quickly for you. Whereas when used in a relationship, an ultimatum may encourage your partner to level up and accept their responsibilities. Either way, it’s a gamble which many are not willing to take. However, when one Redditor asked community members to share any experiences with ultimatums people were quick to share how things went.


#1 Was told it was him or my cat. He didn’t like that my cat peed on his stuff when he made me cry. I still have the cat 12 years later and he’s 3 months shy of being 20 ? Also no more pee problems after I left sh*thead.

Image source: wyrd_werks, Alex Andrews/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#2 It was either I blindly accept the baby she was pregnant with was mine, or have her take a dna test and have her leave. The DNA test confirmed… I was NOT the father.

Image source: itzpiiz, Chokniti Khongchum/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#3 Posted this story a few times: Ex told me she had cancer. Wanted to know if I was willing to be with her 100%. Found out it was a test. She lied to me, and then I just had to give myself an ultimatum. Leave this beautiful, stunning woman who was richer than me, smarter than me, and be single, or be prepared to be unhappy. I picked to be single. I’m getting married in a few weeks to this beautiful girl I met. She makes my day everyday.

Image source: TheExaltedPrime, Keira Burton/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#4 My high school GF and I were together for 3 years. Senior year and 2 years after high school.

Image source: Honest_Milk1925, Kiran KR/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Well i guess we kind of great complacent in our relationship while going to college and working and she broke up with me. In her words it was basically a game to see if “I truly loved her”. We still kind of hung out after that but nowhere near as much. Then I met my current wife of 5 years (together 9). Well when my ex found out she basically told me her plan about breaking up with me and was desperate to get back together officially. Nope I’m good, if it wasn’t working before it’s not going to magically work now. I found out years later that she had told people I cheated on her. We weren’t even on a “break”, we were broken up. I’m not one to sit around like a puppy dog waiting to be called a good boy for someone who broke up with me.

#5 I was 17 my grandfather died and left me his 67 Camaro SS. I loved that car 3 years later at 20 my girlfriend said I was spending to much time with the car. It was summer so washing and waxing for us to take it cruising on the weekends.

Image source: Limp-Way2167, Wijs (Wise)/Pexels (not the actual photo)

So she said either I sell the car or I needed to leave. I asked if I had time to pack and she started throwing my stuff out the front door. Almost 20 years later I still have my Camaro my kids love it so maybe I’ll leave it to all of them. Figure they can fight to the death for it.

#6 Friends or her. Usually an immediate red flag, I took it as such. Turns out she was right, few months later and I realized those guys were total a******s.

Image source: imapotatognome, Ron Lach/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#7 An ex fiancé said I had to get rid of my cat.

Image source: BbqManJr, Serena Koi/Pexels (not the actual photo)

My cat was semi-feral, but I had brought him back to good health after a bad injury in the wild. I think he had 4 surgeries, including one from when his left armpit had been torn open from hanging on a chain linked fence. I left my ex, and my cat lived an additional 14 years, eating gravy from a can every morning until he died age 18 this February. I have severe mental illness and he would always love bite my leg when I was manic talking and walking in circles, directing me to the couch so he could stick his butt in my face. He was a great friend and saved my life. I don’t regret my decision one bit. Love that sweet old cat.

#8 Came home from overseas and was basically a hermit. She tried for months to let her “get me” a dog. I finally said ok. She got a huge a*s dog. To my surprise, it helped me greatly.

Image source: anotherintelanalyst, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Fast forward a year, she doesn’t want the dog on furniture, then she didn’t want the dog in the bedroom, then she had me take the dog out the front door to walk around to the back (we had a backdoor), then she wanted the dog confined to the laundry room and the final thing she said was “It’s either me or the dog” (We had been together for 11 years, married for 8. I said where are the boxes, I’ll help you pack. The BEST part, I now live with my girlfriend and it’s where that dog came from ;-).

#9 gave my ex an ultimatum. she could either be my girlfriend and a mother to her daughter, or she could be her teenage daughters drinking buddy. I left 5 years ago.

Image source: ZAC7071, Alena Shekhovtcova/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#10 We had 2 healthy kids. 2nd one almost died in childbirth and it freaked me out. I said I wanted a vasectomy. She said it’s a 3rd kid or divorce. I came from a broken family and couldn’t leave my kids. We had a 3rd. It was huge and wrecked her pelvic floor and our finances which is what I was afraid of. So now we are broke, but we have 3 beautiful kids I adore. I love my wife, she is an amazing mother but I’ll never love her as much as I used to, because now I know I’m expendable.

Image source: Disimpaction, Gisele Seidel/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#11 My ex was so adamant that we had to move to Florida neverminding the fact I was gainfully employed in a very specific niche that doesn’t exist that often so it would have been incredibly difficult to find a similar position. Not to mention they were unemployed.

Image source: Gromann, Vanessa Garcia/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Eventually she pulled the “I’m moving to Florida with or without you” So… I took the out and stayed in California.

She begged to come back a year later and had to take a job in Alaska since she had no income and needed something that would hire with a living quarter on site.

#12 Lol I was 19 and pledging a sorority, my boyfriend was 25 and super unhappy about the whole thing. I did not know/ realize he was emotionally abusive and he was legitimately getting upset that I had friends outside of him.

He called me right when he knew I had pledging stuff to do, it was literally on the schedule I shared with him. My ‘big sister’ decided to answer for me and he screamed at her until she gave me the phone.

He told me to pick my sorority big sister or him. I picked my big sister and I don’t regret it one bit! Those ladies taught me so much about conflict resolution, emotional abuse, boundaries and so much more. He destroyed my PlayStation and all the stuff I left at his house but it was worth it, I dodged a bullet.

Image source: RolliPolliCanoli

#13 An ex once told me that I needed to get a lower paying job so I made less than him or we were over as it was “wrong” for me to make more than the man in the relationship. I told him to have the life he deserved.

Image source: SheiB123, RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#14 Essentially he told me I could choose between him or what he called my “individuality” – ie if I stayed with him I couldn’t ever disagree with him or have an opinion different than his. By this point (6 months into our relationship) I had figured out he was a controlling, abusive a*****e with Narcissistic Personality Disorder so I broke up with him and ~15 years later I can easily say it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Image source: sakoulas86, Thgusstavo Santana/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#15 She told me to grow with her in her relationship with Jesus christ and the Lord. She now has a child with a man she is not married to. How ironic.

Image source: Wetpapernapkins, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#16 I’d just spent the last 5 years hoping and praying my fiance would beat cancer. She did. She was ~~finally out of remission~~ officially cancer-free. The coast was clear, our future brighter than ever.

Image source: ginbooth, SHVETS production/Pexels (not the actual photo)

A few months later, she wrote me a long letter informing me that if I wasn’t comfortable with her spending nights out with her boss going to dinners and/or movies, I did not understand love, and we should end things. She promised he was just like a sister to her and there was nothing to worry about. It turns out, there was. She was madly in love with him. Leaving her was one of the most heartbreaking and wise decisions I’ve ever made.

#17 I have a friend doing this. It’s her or his best friend, me. He chose her. Now he’s broke because of her, miserable, does all the cooking and cleaning, pays for her dogs vet bills and care, all the rent etc. She demands two weekly date nights at fancy places. Sucks to suck man. I warned him.

Image source: Nexdoor_babe, Min An/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#18 I told my “ex” it was me or the d***s. 3 days later he killed himself. So. That happened.

Image source: tooful, Elijah O’Donnell/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#19 She had a tendency to call me when I was out with my friends and would lose her s**t if I didn’t drop everything and go see her. Eventually, she said “it’s either me or your friends”.

Image source: Ok-Charge-6998, Tony Schnagl/Pexels (Not the actual photo)

My mate suddenly grabbed my phone, hung up on her and said “there, you’re welcome”. I agreed with their decision. My friends chose me and they’re still my friends over a decade later. I have no regrets.

#20 I am and have been involved in community theatre for a very long time. Dated a guy for a year.

Image source: SomethingWickedTWC, Ruca Souza/Pexels (not the actual photo)

He thought it took up too much of my life when he wanted us to be doing other things, (get married, have a baby.) So I got the “theatre or me” talk. Chose theatre, no regrets. He wasn’t totally wrong, I get those things were important to him. But I am not going to sacrifice a huge part of my life that fulfills me and makes me happy to do those things for him in his life. It would be a terrible start to a marriage. Where ever he is, hope he found what he was looking for. I’m still happy with the choice.

#21 We weren’t even dating just friends drifting towards more. I knew our political ideologies didn’t line up exactly but I didn’t realize just how much he hid his thoughts mostly opting to just change the subject. I thought he was just kind of in the middle and focused on what his parents always told him but open to other view points. Nope this man legit told me “you need to change your voter registration and political party” and that “the way I voted in the previous election meant I was a worse than scum and going to hell.” Noped right the f**k out.

Image source: royal_rose_, Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#22 Since I was a little kid I wanted to be in law enforcement and got a job with my dream agency out of college. I left after a few years to work in the family business, but eventually returned to law enforcement. Met a woman, fell in love, and got married. Ten months into the marriage she decided she couldn’t be married to a cop, so I needed to quit and find a six figure job or she was going to leave. I’m on the verge of retiring and she moved back to her hometown and married….. another cop!!

Image source: johndeaux588, Kindel Media/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#23 Ex boyfriend had a “girl best friend” who was constantly inappropriate and pushed boundaries. I tried to be the “cool” girlfriend who didn’t care, but after a while it really got to me. I didn’t want to give an ultimatum but after he would race out of my house in the middle of the night because she called him up crying, I had to. I didn’t even say “me or her”. It was “stop that s**t, or I’m out.”. He told me he would ALWAYS pick her over me and that would never change. So I was out.

Image source: Slappyxo, Designecologist/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Happy ending, I met my wonderful husband a week later. My ex’s girl best friend also wanted nothing to do with him as soon as he was single and dropped him and he came crawling back. I blocked him.

#24 The relationship ended as soon as the ultimatum was given. I had chosen to continue drinking and lying after being given so many chances. I wasn’t about to stop after some ultimatum.

I love being sober now (6 years!) and not being a trash bag human being anymore. Betraying trust is such a s****y thing to do to another person.

Image source: trenchfoot_mafia

#25 I had an ex with whom I broke up in very bad terms. After a few months, started seeing someone else. Then, a mutual friend tipped me she was going through a major mental health crisis, and in a dire need of help. Said friend was herself effectively homeless, and couldn’t really do anything. I, on the other hand, was doing okay. Or, at the very least, I had some funds I could use for an emergency.

Image source: Adiantum-Veneris, David Garrison/Pexels (not the actual photo)

As hurt as I was – I wasn’t going to let her rot in the street. We came up with a plan to get my ex into rehab and psychiatric care. It wasn’t cheap, but it was doable. She wouldn’t see me, or even know I had anything to do with it. I told my new girlfriend about it, of course. Not just because she needed to know, but also… I was just concerned, stressed, upset, worried and sad. But also, yeah, she needed to know what was up.

My girlfriend was furious, and refused to hear anything about it. She insisted that me helping my ex in any way at all meant I wanted her back. No amount of explaining (No, I don’t want her back. The whole point of the plan is that I don’t have to interact with her. I just… Don’t want her to be in danger, or to suffer) made any difference. Eventually, she gave me an ultimatum: unless I drop the whole thing, she’s out.

I sent my ex to rehab. We never spoke. I regret nothing.

#26 My ex filed for divorce, and handed me the papers. He was mooching around the house (my dad gently told him to move out later) and whined, “You love that cat more than you love me.” and I said, “Yeah, my cat’s been with me for 13 years and isn’t filing for divorce.” Sheesh.

Image source: VapoursAndSpleen, Krysten Merriman/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#27 I grew up in a tiny dead-end town in the American South. My high school girlfriend told me she wished I was a bum (her words) who wasn’t going to go anywhere because she didn’t see herself ever leaving. I was leaving the state to go to college. So it was either her in that dead-end town or a life out in who-knows-where. I couldn’t get out of that place fast enough. She’s still there three decades later.

Image source: DeaconPlayback, John Diez/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#28 My wife (girlfriend at the time) said “I’m getting close to 30, and I want to have a kid before then. I want very badly for it to be with you. If that’s not in your plans though, then there is no point in being together, because I will just end up resenting you for it”. I chose to stay with her, and soon thereafter we started our little family. It was, by far, the best decision I ever made.

Image source: raxtich, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#29 Had an ex that told me I had to choose between him and World of Warcraft. Shockingly I chose World of Warcraft.

Image source: Aquilleia, foeoc kannilc/Flickr

A year later I got a job working AT Blizzard Entertainment, on WoW in QA. It kick started my game dev career. It’s now 16 years later, I work on one of the biggest games in the world, and am so damn happy I told him to go pound sand.

#30 Friend of mine not me but his gf complained he was “gaming too much”. And he promised to change….Then Skyrim came out.

Image source: Ouroboros612, Anton Porsche/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

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choices, Dating, decisions, relationships, ultimatum
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