40 Things Women Think Men Still Don’t Understand

Published 2 weeks ago

Despite the growing understanding regarding gender differences, there are still quite a few prevalent stereotypes about females that most women feel men just don’t understand. In a bid to create more awareness, women on Reddit recently discussed their thoughts on things they wished more men would get. The explanations ranged from toilet paper usage to women’s expectations when sharing problems. If you’re curious, scroll below for a list of points many women emphasized. 

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#1 We don’t get colorful hair, long nails, lips filled, make up done and outfits on to appear attractive to men.

Image source: RandomPolishGurl, Matheus Natan

We do want to look nice for some men on occasion. But the majority of the time it’s because *we* feel good like that.

You think i dyed my hair pastel purple to seem attractive to some dudes? I felt AWESOME with them.

AND a lot of other women compliment you. Which is a nice addition.

So the “actually, men don’t like black lipstick” is meaningless. *I* like black lipstick. It is not for you. It is for me.

#2 If we have s*x with you, we may get pregnant, even with contraception.

Image source: Mushrooming247, freestocks.org

You may then disappear, even after acting like a respectable person, and fight any ties to your child forever.

We may be required by law to bear your child, and become a mother alone, struggling to support ourselves and a newborn.

If we don’t die during pregnancy or childbirth, which is more common in some parts of the US than in any other development nation.

So don’t ask why women won’t just sleep with you, why we won’t “give you a chance” and just have sex once, or why we’re not going to Netflix-and-chill for the first date. Women enjoy s*x too, but we are facing the rest of our lives potentially raising your child alone, if we don’t die first.

#3 That my hobbies and interests being associated with femininity doesn’t make them “stupid” or “boring” or any less gratifying.

Image source: DateLate6732, Adrienn

fatchancefatpants:

Why am I called a basic b**ch for liking pumpkin spice and crafting, yet dudes who like football and beer are mAnLy and cool? They’re also basic bitches. These things are popular cuz they’re enjoyable, let people enjoy things.

#4 Here’s a dumb one: the amount of toilet paper we need to use. I’ve seen a lot of men complain about how much TP the women in their house go through, and they say things like “I hardly use any! Why can’t they learn to live off a few squares like I do!”

Image source: RovenshereExpress, Vlada Karpovich

Men don’t understand that women have a lot more to clean up. Men usually only use it after going #2 or to clean up a little drip. Women can’t just shake it and be done. We also have discharge to clean up, which is constant (not just when we’re aroused as some men believe) and it’s only worse when we’re ovulating. Then on top of that we have periods to deal with. We need more toilet paper than you do! Get off our back!

#5 The energy it takes to actually get in the mood enough for it to not hurt to have our *body penetrated*. That’s why so many women don’t want to do it multiple times a day and aren’t ready at the slightest suggestion.

Image source: 624Seeds, Andrea Piacquadio

It’s so easy to just get an erection and jam it into something, I wish more men understood that being penetrated is not the same.

Like, the vagina is a collapsed tube. That’s why tampons the size of a finger stay in place. You can’t just jam s**t in there. Even with tampons you have to go easy.

#6 That when we talk about feeling unsafe at night walking home alone and stuff like that… We know, 999 of 1000 men we come across are just normal men heading somewhere, who don’t mind us in any way. Problem is, we don’t know who the 1 is that maybe has evil intentions.

Image source: MauOnTheRoad, lalesh aldarwish

#7 That truly sharing household and domestic tasks means doing it unprompted. I don’t want to have to ask you to tidy up or answer questions if it’s your turn to cook or constantly manage social calendars and remind you or things. My brain needs a break too and taking initiative means a lot.

Image source: brainsteam, RDNE Stock project

#8 We have no control over our periods. Not when they come, not when they go, nothing. And the things we can get or take to minimize them often have harsh side effects that not all of us can or want to deal with. This is something you must understand.

Image source: RWBYRain, Karolina Kaboompics

#9 We aren’t mad at you because we are on our period, we are mad at you because we have less tolerance for stupid things on our period.

Image source: charesleeray8, David Garrison

#10 Feminism isn’t hating men.

Image source: Inner_Word_363, freepik

#11 Just treat us like we are PEOPLE, not just women. That would fix a LOT of things.

Image source: Droxalope_94, RDNE Stock project

#12 That ignoring their mom being passive aggressive to their gf/wife is actually re-enforcing that behavior and harming their relationship…not keeping the peace.

Image source: boboanimalrescue, cottonbro studio

#13 Pregnancy and post partum is not easy. I’ve seen men make comments with women with hyperemesis “they throw up to not gain weight” l myself had it with my first child and I would want to die smelling cooked food. And felt like I had a violent hangover every day all day long. Also now at my age underestimating how bad hot flashes are.

Image source: –dee, Ömürden Cengiz

#14 We’re not trying to start arguments because we’re bored. You did something that upset us and we’re trying to communicate that to you. We don’t sit around thinking of problems just cause.

Image source: Mobile_Screen4017, Ketut Subiyanto

#15 We deserve equal pay.

Image source: Commercial-Whole9501

#16 Men having a smaller paycheck is fine, but them being insecure about it is REALLY unattractive.

Image source: WineAndDogs2020

#17 Being arrogant isn’t hot.

Image source: maesommer

#18 That No just means “no” and we aren’t saying “no” to play hard to get.

Image source: FoxSure8573, SHVETS production

#19 That when a man complains that “She needs to tell me what’s wrong, I can’t read her mind!” she likely already told him 100 times and is at the point where she stopped trying, because he never changed his behaviour regardless of what’s been discussed.

Image source: Sipyloidea

#20 If you are in a relationship with a woman and having issues in the bedroom, take a good hard look at how the other parts of your relationship are working. Chances are VERY high there’s a reason why the desire is dwindling that isn’t only s*x related.

Image source: Maximum-Vegetable, Kampus Production

#21 Stop hitting on people at work. They have to be polite for you and it forces them into a conflict.

Image source: g_g0987

#22 If a woman breaks up with you randomly one day … remember that she broke up with you months or even years ago in her mind.

Image source: capricornthings

#23 It’s not just that there’s a tiny minority of bad men, it’s that there are a large number of supposedly decent men who tacitly support the actions of bad men.

Image source: p0tat0p0tat0, RDNE Stock project

#24 I know it’s not just women that this happens to, but not being listened to in an academic/professional environment. We have helpful insights to problems just like men, we are smart and creative and skillful too. I’m tired of having my intelligence underestimated and ignored.

Image source: Enoughforfluffy, Polina Tankilevitch

#25 I think a lot of guys don’t really get how if you act like an additional child to be taken care of at home then this is going to have a direct, deeply negative impact on whether your partner sees you as a f**kable competent adult down the line.

Image source: cardamom-peonies, Lisa Fotios

Read: this generally means doing your fair share of housework as another adult in the same household without your partner having to act as your manager. If you’ve been living here for 5+ years and the house isn’t huge, you should generally have an idea of where xyz household item typically gets stored or how to do the laundry. That isn’t to say that suddenly doing the chores will fix all your relationship problems, but it’s generally a good idea to be like this from the beginning and be consistent.

This probably isn’t that gendered irl but you see this crop up a lot in hetero relationships where somehow the gf has wound up doing most housework, childcare *and* also works full time and the dude maybe mows the lawn once a week or “does household projects” that somehow never actually get completed.

#26 How much our menstrual cycle affects us, not just the bleeding part. Hormones are a hell of a d**g. E: Not to mention hormonal birth control means we have to handle added hormones and side effects.

Image source: Rubyhamster, Nataliya Vaitkevich

#27 To the older men out there – menopause is a roller coaster of physical and emotional changes. Please educate yourselves about it and be supportive and patient.

Image source: frisbeemassage, Marcus Aurelius

#28 Your jean pockets are much deeper than ours, hence our fondness in bags.

Image source: delightful_baby, Nataliya Vaitkevich

#29 I’m just being nice. I’m not flirting or interested in you.

Image source: OkAdministration5886

#30 A lot of us don’t view you as protectors. I know that’s the image you have been sold since you were a child, but the people you are supposedly protecting us from come from the same group you do. And bad men don’t walk around with a sign saying “I’m a bad man” so our caution has to be applied as a blanket policy. We don’t hate you, we just know that if something bad happens to us the first thing people will do is ask why we even “put ourselves in that situation”. It’s not personal.

Image source: Aethereuz, Antoni Shkraba

#31 Sometimes men just don’t get how important it is to listen and validate feelings instead of trying to fix things right away it’s not always about solving problems, sometimes it’s just about being heard.

Image source: bellaerayy, Samson Katt

#32 Mansplaining is incredibly frustrating.

Image source: Resident-Tourist-266

#33 Groping your gf/wife constantly is not as hot as you think it is. We are objectified like that everywhere. Having it done to us at home, too, is a HUGE turnoff for a lot of women.

Image source: That_Weird_Girl_107

#34 Stop taking “starting a family” so lightly. Creating a child is 99% a woman’s work and 1% a man’s pleasure. Put yourself in her shoes and think twice before pressuring her to have a(nother) child, or mocking her because she didn’t bounce back. Pay some respect because you did absolutely nothing.

Also, since we don’t live in a vacuum and we inherited gender roles, put much more effort in your family because I swear that your partner is doing way more than you think. You are not a fifty-fifty couple, especially if you have kids.

Image source: MrBocconotto

#35 The majority of us do not want to see your d**k pics so stop sending them! Especially unsolicited! Keep it in your pants buddy.

Image source: jacquiwho, cookie_studio

#36 That period pains for 1 in 10 women can be worse than contractions at birth. we are not dramatic or overexaggerating. womens health is terribly lacking and underfunded and we are just surviving out here. It’s not our fault and doesn’t make us less of a person. extra help with food and cleaning around those pain attacks can mean the world to us.

Image source: Bunnla, Andrea Piacquadio

#37 Most adult women have incredibly high tolerance for pain. This can be due to a myriad of contributing factors like menstruation and child birth, but can also be contributed to by factors women do not want to speak openly about, like poverty (not able to afford care or treatment), abuse (mental, physical, sexual), or even fear of being labeled as weak or emotional every time they make a complaint.

Image source: chillinn_at_work, Marcus Aurelius

If an adult woman in your life complains to you about pain or illness, please take her seriously. You aren’t necessarily responsible for solving it, but showing a little compassion can really brighten their day. Yes, some women will not have a high tolerance, but it’s definitely the minority.

#38 Sometimes I’m quiet because I don’t want to talk or have nothing on my mind. I also look out the passenger window when I’m a passenger because I like looking out the window. It’s not because I’m mad, it’s because when I drive I never get to look out the window!!!

Image source: No_Support_7203, Ган-Эрдэнэ Булгантамир

#39 That women aren’t a monolith. Just because your ex liked x doesn’t mean your new girlfriend will. Just because your mom likes x doesn’t mean your aunt will. Just because your sister had light periods doesn’t mean your friend is faking her pain. And on and on. Women are people and while they share common experiences, they have their own preferences.

Image source: Alcohol_Intolerant, Polina Zimmerman

Like 90% of the ask women threads are removed because they aren’t asking women general questions about their experiences in being women. They’re incredibly specific questions that they should be asking their girlfriend or their mother. (I. E. Will my girlfriend like x in bed, what should I get my mom for mothers day, etc.).

#40 That they need each other. I wish they could get past the programming or the perception that speaking to and loving their friends is not “weak” or “gay” or in any way a bad thing.

Image source: The_Salty_Red_Head, Mental Health America (MHA)

Too many men want women to fix them by providing them with the type of friendships women have between themselves, with the bonus of s*x. That’s not how it works.

You are capable of (and very much should be) leaning on each other. Not us.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

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