“I Shouldn’t Have Looked”: 40 Unexpected Phone Finds That Redefined Love And Trust

In the age of digital intimacy, our phones are often vaults of secrets — some innocent, others capable of tearing relationships apart. One Reddit user recently posed a striking question: “What’s something you found on a partner’s phone that instantly changed the relationship forever — but they never knew you saw it?”

#1

Image source: Chispiken, lucigerma / freepik

His messenger chats with my mom. He jokes with my mom a lot and would always ask about me, what I was like as a kid, why am I so full of energy and how to take care of me. My mom had cancer and passed away last 2023 but their last messages to each other was him assuring her he’d take care of me the way she wants to.

#2

Image source: YellowEarthDown, EyeEm / freepik

P**n, featuring women with my body type. I little pudgy, with a set of heavy naturals. Frankly, it helped me let go of some insecurities, and feel more comfortable during intimacy. I finally accepted that when he says he likes me the way I am, he means he likes me the way I am. And I’m here for that.

#3

Image source: hooyah54, freepik

Not his phone, but my late husband’s tablet. A year after he died, I was clearing his tablet of stuff, and saw he had a Twitter account. I was reading through his posts, and hit one that had me in tears for the rest of the day. He had responded to some thread about keeping women in their place, or some such garbage. Husband had posted a long rant about how bring married for 35 years to a woman who never tired of learning, who never let things stop her, sho stayed interested in new things, was the best thing in his life, and that a smart, thinking woman kept his life interesting and exciting.

I always knew he felt this way, but seeing him say this to a total internet stranger, in a forum he thought I would never see, was just kind of overwhelming for a few days. We were friends for 45 years, best friends for 43 years, married for 37 years. He died 3 1/2 years ago, and the hole in my life is just as big as the day he died. I’m not languishing, or yearning to follow him anytime soon, but I miss him, tremendously.

#4

Image source: MessImpossible13, kues1 / freepik

This was before phones, but my girlfriend at the time had her email left open on her desktop. Saw an email to her best friend about me while she was in shower. Didn’t mean to click on.

I tried really hard not to be nosey, but I saw my name so I read the email as I was really insecure due to past trauma. I’m glad my instinct to check was right. Some of friends had warned me this girl was “too pretty” for me (coming from a place of genuine concern).

What I read shocked me.

This girl (now my ex-girlfriend) was gushing to her friend about how she felt in love for the first time…blah blah blah .She went on and on how I was perfect for her and she’d never felt so safe and understood and I was the “one”.

But she said I lacked confidence (I knew she had dated a model before dating slightly above average me) but she was going to deal with that fear she expounded on to her friend.

Long story short, she’s my ex- fiancé and now wife of 21 years.

Never told her I saw that email , but man that and her actions have made me the most confident husband and happy person.

#5

Image source: Desperate-Exit692, freepik

Notes app with a list of stuff about me – favourite movies, flowers I’d like to get, shoe size, anything and everything. There were subdivisions like potential gifts to buy, what to do if im angry at him, stuff about my seasonal depression and what helps. It was almost 3 pages long and titled “My love”.

I fell in love more. It showed hes serious about me and willing to put in effort.

#6

Image source: eugeneugene, Drazen Zigic / freepik

He handed me his phone when he was driving so I could text his mom for him. When I unlocked his phone it opened to a note that was just a list of everything I’ve ever mentioned that I liked and it was titled “gift ideas”. Like one of the items in the list was something I had seen in the window of a shop and mentioned that I thought it was cute then we just kept walking. It made me feel so loved to know that he paid attention to every tiny thing. We’re married now lol

#7

Image source: Tech_Noir_1984, EyeEm / freepik

Left her laptop open and i saw a folder called “secret stuff”. Momentary panic followed and i couldn’t help myself. It was literally just thousands of pictures of our dogs 😂😂

#8

Image source: Main-Ladder-5663, freepik

I was using his phone when mine had died and I have a habit of closing apps (he had a million open and it was driving me nuts) and his Reddit was open.

He doesn’t post most much, just follows and likes a bunch of wood working and bush crafting subreddits, but the few posts he commented on were about *me*.

It made my heart feel so happy I wanted to vomit lol. My favorite comment was about someone planning Valentine’s Day for their partner and he said something like “one Valentine’s Day my wife surprised me with a giant blanket fort. She had her parents watch our daughter, bought all my favorite snacks and sushi for dinner, had lord of the rings ready to play and made a pillow nest on the floor inside the fort. Best. Wife. Ever.”

He doesn’t have social media and isn’t one for writing letters or cards, doesn’t make a big show of his affections for me, so to see him gushing about me online was so 😭😭

I love that goose.

#9

Image source: Intergalactic_Lion, freepik

After a year of remaining moderately stoic, I confided in her about some emotional torment I was experiencing and broke down and cried in front of her. I found texts to her friend a few hours later of how psycho and emotional I was. That was the last time I ever showed any feeling and broke up with her 6 months later.

#10

Image source: charlie1701, freepik

I went through my partner’s phone after he passed away from cancer last year. I had to find contact numbers for a few friends not on the funeral list we made.

In his notes app, I found phrases he used in his letters to me, as we often wrote to each other when he was in hospital and visiting times were short. English was not his first language and I hadn’t realised how hard he had practised in order to say what he wanted to say. I sent myself a copy of those notes and look at them often.

#11

Image source: Bubbly_North_2180, prostooleh / freepik

Me and my fiancé have a really chill relationship. We respect that phones are private so we don’t snoop but use each others phones all the time for stuff like a torch etc when we grab whatever’s nearest or to google a number.

I was asking about something and he said look it up and passed his phone. I went to google and it opened his last tab … he was looking at engagement rings. I clicked on another tab and searched on that instead to try to hide that I’d seen it. I never confessed I’d seen it but Christ.

I knew pretty early on I wanted to spend my life with him and we’d had casual conversations but I’m a natural sceptic. To see that just really solidified in my little worried brain that he wasn’t lying when he said he loved me.

#12

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Notes app with a title ‘MUST READ’. It is a long list of things he should do when we have an argument as if talking to himself, and it’s always followed by a compliment about me. Like one is “Ask her for a couple minutes to compose and calm down because you might say bad things you don’t mean out of frustration. She’s very sweet, understanding, caring, your baby doesn’t deserve to cry”

It might be bare minimum to others but he has always been mentally struggling with dealing with negative emotions, altho we’re adults, we’re each other’s firsts.. so it’s a constant learning, and he’s improving a lot, but sometimes he beats himself up for it. Writing this just makes me cry, but I’m so proud of him for going beyond his limits and comfort zone.

#13

Image source: Phildagony, freepik

I saw my wife keeps an app for reminders for everyone’s birthday and significant dates of our relationship. She also has a bunch of photo montages she created of us together. I never question her love and devotion of me.

#14

Image source: timothywilliams2017, wolfhound911 / freepik

A few years ago, I was adding some items to the Notes app grocery list on my wife’s phone. The app opened to the most recent list, which was a copy of her wedding vows with the promises she made to me (things like supporting my dreams, being my partner in crazy adventures).

Besides each one was a list of ideas to match – including some things we had done recently. We were going through a rough patch at the time and seeing that list doubled my resolve to work through it.

#15

Image source: Tim-Rees, freepik

I saw a message to her sister saying that I was the most important person in her life and had saved her from a life of a*******n and abuse. When I saw the message we’d only been dating about 4 months and It’s now been 21 years since I saw that message and I’ve never let her go 🖤 and I never will.

#16

Image source: discountblowjob, wirestock_creators / freepik

Proof that she was cheating. Took a video with my own phone of all the proof.

Then confronted her that I knew she was cheating but didn’t tell her how. She confessed to cheating with an entirely different person than what I had proof of. Wild times lol.

#17

Image source: ohmybubbles, freepik

A folder with pictures of me, but not pictures on dates or anything, mostly pictures of me making silly faces or sleeping or eating. It showed me that he values me being comfortable and just existing a lot more than being dolled up and perfect constantly.

#18

Image source: sunset_bean, Ambreen / freepik

My husband changed his phone password to my name within 3 months of us dating. He didn’t tell me he had – I only realised one day when I needed to unlock his phone and asked. I had trust issues going into our relationship, so it was a shock that someone would use my name for anything.

We’ve now been together for 7 years, and I’m still his password.

#19

There was a photo album of nothing but pictures of me and our son titled, “My Perfect Men.” There were pictures in there I didn’t even know about — him helping me wash my car, us laying on the couch, him teaching me Minecraft, me helping him ride a bike, etc.

I was a mess for a while. Ugly crying. Happy tears, but ugly crying. I had no idea I was loved so deeply by her.

My wife is quiet, introverted and didn’t grow up in an environment that was outwardly loving. I wasn’t snooping at all, but asked her to share some recent pictures of our son after a sports day at his school. I saw her in a different light after that. Our already good marriage hit a level I didn’t even know was possible.

Image source: fameone098

#20

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Photos of her talking with her ex about the amazing s*x they were having. Talking about how it’s perfect because she will divorce me soon and take everything.

She took nothing! Divorced that c*nt!

I’m not bitter 😉

#21

Image source: lifeincolour_, lipik / freepik

His mom texted him and a notification popped up on his TV, I had to see it after I saw she was talking about me, saying not so great things because she was mad I set a boundary around what amount of drinking I’m comfortable with my 4 year old being around before we will choose to leave gatherings. She’s an alcoholic, and got really drunk and really mad when I set that boundary. but I saw that he really stuck up for me, and called her out on being wrong. he say some really caring things about me, and it really pushed me to see how much he’s come to trust me, and how far he’s come with his own drinking. he’s grown to really value not hurting other people with indulging in your own vices, and it was really big in showing me how much he’s changed and seriously how much therapy has been helping him.

#22

Image source: admles, DC Studio / freepik

Notes keeping track of how long since we last had a fight, when to pick the next one if we haven’t had one by then, and potential things to pick a fight about. She didn’t believe in a relationship going more than 4 weeks without a fight.

Also a list of my passwords she’d managed to uncover.

#23

I found a hidden folder in his phone with screenshots of other girls’ Instagram stories,girls we both knew. Some were mutual friends. None of it was overtly sexual, but the captions he added to the pics were… gross. Like “she doesn’t even know what I’d do to her” kind of stuff.

It felt violating. Not because he cheated, but because I saw a side of him that made my skin crawl, objectifying women he smiled at in real life, including people I cared about, was friends with and that he interacted with on the daily.

I never said a word. Just quietly started planning my exit, told my friends. Have not seen him since, he deleted socials, no idea what happened to him.

Image source: itzAva_

#24

Image source: still_on_a_whisper, EmilyStock / freepik

Text messages to a female friend essentially professing his love for her. He was a horrible person who did awful things to me but those messages to her were a big punch to the gut until I found hard evidence of him actually physically cheating.

Edit to add: he is my ex, broke up in 2019

#25

Way back into the seventies I found a letter she had written about me to her older sister. It was so flattering. Tall, handsome, smart funny and a good kisser with good equipment.

Made me feel really good when she gave her approval and lil sister and I became an item. Still knocking boots 50 years later.

Image source: 2O2Ohindsight

#26

Image source: FishermanDelicious26, freepik

Been together since ‘17. Had a gut feeling to check his phone but he always was guarded when it come to it. He fell asleep one day with YouTube open, looked through his instagram and for the past six months he was in a group chat with two other people sending each other videos of using the restroom in diapers and exchanging feet pics. All for amounts of money that never exceeded 10$. No idea how to even approach this.

#27

So I struggle with a lot of things physically and mentally which is important in regard to what I found. There was one day my fiancé had asked me to look for something in their notes app. I noticed one that was titled “help them” and I let my curiosity get the better of me. I absolutely fell in love with what I found. Inside of it was my fully detailed care plan that my psych team had given them for when I have my extremely bad days. It had everything from what foods i consider safe to how to get my service dog to perform tasks with them directing her instead of me to even which meds/treatments are going to work during what. In the past my parents have been the only ones to take my care plans seriously. I’ve never told my fiancé to this day that I saw that (and this was nearly two years ago that I saw it) but since then it just solidified for me and my family that I’m 100% marrying the right person.

Image source: SweetFlowerBoi

#28

Image source: musicmaestro2004, freeograph / freepik

I saw her Instagram DM history to my best friends from school about a week before my birthday. I knew she was planning some sort of surprise for my 21st but getting all of my childhood best friends back from when I was 5 years old up to secondary school and getting them to come and surprise me by knocking on my door BEFORE we went downstairs together and there was a full on surprise party with everyone I knew at university was the icing on the cake. Yes I knew one or two of them were coming so it wasn’t completely a surprise but I wasn’t ready for the scale of it (she got people who’d I’d just mentioned in passing and who’d she’d never met before to come!). Definitely a massive boost to an already very strong relationship, it showed me just how much she listens and just how much she cares.

#29

Not me but my Sister In Law. Said her then boyfriend (now husband). Handed her his phone to check the weather or an order status or something menial like that. Said when he handed it to her he accidentally left it open in his investing app. And she didn’t poke around too much but saw the obvious 3-4 million in his account. At about 35 years old. And that was just one app probably not his entire portfolio.

She never mentioned it but said a month or two later as things got more serious between them he said “hey we need to have a talk”. And she was worried. But said “ok, what is it?” And he said “I’m privately wealthy, and I want to marry you, so if we in fact continue this relationship, you probably don’t ever have to worry about money.”

Fast forward a few years, they are married. Have a kid. My sister in law makes 6-figures working in finance. He quit his job but opened a business doing custom wood working (which was his hobby prior to quitting his job, good for him). So everyone stays busy. He is a very cool guy. Grounded. Just has a lot of money. My wife’s side of the family is quite successful. And this post makes me realize that I’m probably the lowest income earner of any of her siblings or Her siblings spouses. She has 4 siblings. Sad for me. Haha.

Image source: Nastynugget

#30

I really try hard to respect my girlfriend’s privacy, but I have super vision and read whole paragraphs in like one glance. One time I glanced over and happened to see her telling one of her best friends how much she loved being with me and how safe and happy she felt.

A decade of horrible relationships still gives me the scaries sometimes but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Image source: skeletons_asshole

#31

Image source: lutlowt, EyeEm / freepik

A couple months into dating a girl I was sitting in the passenger seat of her car waiting for her to come back from running inside her house when I saw a text come through on her phone that said, “Happy anniversary, baby. Can’t wait to see you tonight!” So, yeah, that ended.

#32

Image source: the-big-meowski, freepik

Never went through a partner’s phone.

But one time, an ex let me read his emails to provide context to how crazy and mean his ex wife was to him. *He wanted me to read them.*

I found several exchanges between him and a few of his exes. Turns out HE was the a*****e. He played victim in every disagreement. Called them b*tches and then wondered why they didn’t want to ever see him again. He contacted one of his ex’s family members after she blocked him, trying to reach out to her. Absolutely insane he volunteered that to me.

It didn’t take long for him to do the same manipulative s**t to me. Or perhaps I was more aware of his tactics.

#33

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She left a facebook messenger conversation between her and her friend open on her computer. I’d use her computer when was at class but it was her complaining how much time I spent at her apartment and that I was smothering her by always being around. I was surprised by this as she’d have a breakdown and accuse me of abandoning her when I’d leave to stay at my own place for a few days.

#34

Image source: Less_Party, Polina Tankilevitch / pexels

Photo of myself shirtless crudely edited to look like I was making out with Shadow the Hedgehog.

#35

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Some s**t about how every boy should be circumcised without anaesthesia to teach them respect. Noped outta that relationship then and there.

#36

I read the emails back and forth between my ex-husband and the woman he ruined our marriage with where they were planning the road trip/romantic getaway after their “business” trip.

F**k you, T. Our son graduates in a month and I never have to speak to you again.

Image source: ForcrimeinItaly

#37

We had been together for almost 2 years. We were on vacation with my parents, and my phone had died, so I asked to borrow his to look something up online that my mom had been wanting. Right as his phone leaves his hands, a message pops up from “my love” in Arabic. He knew I was bilingual, but I guess he forgot that Arabic is one of the 6 languages I speak.The messages were a mix of English and Arabic and the moment I saw the message, I opened the text thread and my heart dropped to my stomach. The messages went back almost the entire time we were together. I marked the message as unread and got out of the app. I was so enraged, I remember wishing he had just slept with her instead because seeing those messages burned so bad. I never saw him the same way again, and it took me years to get over him.

We ended things about a month later, and he had to explain to his mother why we weren’t together. She messaged me later and apologized, “For my stupid son who can’t seem to get it together.” I ended up telling her what I saw, and she promised she’d never mention it, but she knew who the girl was and hates her to this day even though they didn’t end up together. His parents still send me happy holiday messages now 10 years later.

Edit: she also knew he had a girlfriend.

Image source: Physical-Rule-6776

#38

After she deleted every female from my phone while I slept despite her being the one who cheated. Things were great for a month then curiosity got the best of me and I found out that she still had him on Snapchat saved under a woman’s name. It was like the ending of a soap opera. No anger or yelling. Just acceptance as I handed her phone back to her. All the counseling that I needed because males have fragile egos and I needed to work past my issues. Meanwhile I discovered what the term gaslighting means with a first hand demonstration.

Image source: ovlite

#39

A message to “just an old college” friend that she was “too selfish to be a wife and mother and I wish I just had myself to worry about”. Everything made so much sense after that. I’m now a happily divorced single dad that has made more progress in 4 years than I did in the 10 before them with her.

Image source: bowtieblue76

#40

Image source: dropped_connection, prostock-studio / freepik

She told her colleagues and friends she divorced me because I was a*****e.

I wasn’t. She didn’t.

She just wanted to play around in her circle without being judged by pretending she was single.

No one ever asked me, I just got blocked.