20 Men Get Raw On Their Everyday Struggles That Women Have No Idea Of
Until you put yourself in someone else’s shoes you really have no idea what people are going through on a daily basis. While many assumptions about women’s issues run rampant, it’s just as likely that the same can be said about men.
One Redditor wanting to hear more about this sparked an insightful discussion on the struggles of men that women could never understand. From light-hearted issues such as someone standing too close to them at a urinal to more serious issues such as not being taken seriously when trying to get help in a domestic violence case, the following revelations are deeply personal and emotional.
#1 Not being believed when it comes to sexual harassment. I was sexually harassed by a girl in my class a really long time ago and when I told it to the school they didn’t do anything. Both of my parents got involved and they still refused to do anything to the girl who was harassing me
#2 Trying to ask out women with little to no signals to go on. Having to approach and initiate every romantic interaction without coming on too strong and not seem like a creep.
#3 You can shake it, you can thump it, you can beat it on the wall, but until you zip the zipper, the last drop will never fall.
#4 it’s not okay to be a stereotype who tells a woman to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, but it’s acceptable if not downright encouraged for a woman to knock me for not being able to lift something heavy saying “you’re a man, you’re supposed to be able to do this!”
#5 Talking/interacting with a child and instantly getting seen as a [predator]. Once headed out with my 3 year old niece to a playground . . . half an hour later the police were involved. Needed my sister to clear things up.
#6 Expected to be the protector at all times. I mean I’ll do my best but damn, can we call the cops first.
#7 Being shot down simply because you’re a certain height
#8 When a woman expresses her feelings and/or problems, everyone can’t get enough. When a man does, he is either ignored or told “man up dude”. And this is something that’ll go on forever.
#9 Older single guy here. We’re on our own. Nobody wants to touch us. No platonic affection. Nobody wants to help us. We need to figure it out for ourselves. Nobody will be there for you. You have to accept that. Crippling loneliness is a given. I know I will die alone. I just want to know, why the hell is it taking so long?
#10 Being accused of kidnapping my kids while taking them to the playground. That was fun.
Women going out of their way to avoid me when walking on a street (crossing the street). I get it, but wow does it hurt.
Feeling crushing anxiety and not being able to show it to basically anyone. My wife interprets it as me being unstable/unable to be the provider, even my therapist assumed I was just not wanting to face my demons and that I need to get over it. Gotta keep it in.
Being really sick and told it’s manflu.
Having me sense of self worth basically pinned to my ability to earn money
Very specific, but illustrates the point: I once was at a conference and I saw two ladies walking ahead of me. One was carrying a purse by its handle and it was hanging down. The purse was unzipped and stuff was starting to fall out as she was walking. I ran up and interrupted and pointed out the purse was open and stuff was about to fall out. They both looked at me and asked why I would be looking at her purse and called me a creep and walked away.
#11 Being expected to be able to step up in scary situations when you are scared sh**less yourself and don’t want to either.
#12 Being looked at as a pervert or weirdo for taking your kids to the park or store or anywhere. Any age too! Newborn all the way to teenager!
#13 If you don’t open up about your feelings you’re a toxic man. If you do, you’re either being rude or being a pu**y. We’re only supposed to have the CORRECT feelings, at the correct time, at everyone else’s convenience.
#14 my brother got physically abused by his ex and somehow a ton of people still assume he did something to deserve it?… Imagine if the reverse happened! Like a woman talks about how her ex boyfriend punched her because he is an abusive piece of s**t and i would go “yea but what did you do to deserve such a reaction?”. if i did that everyone would agree that i am the a*****e but for some reason multiple people have said this to my brother and no one bats an eye.
#15 Middle age loneliness, particularly for married guys with kids. If you’re not a middle age bro douche, you probably have no friends. None. Maybe you’re amiable with work colleagues, maybe you have a game night with some neighbors, but they’re barely more than acquaintances. Your last friend was 10, maybe 20 years ago in the before times. Seems like It’s almost a societal expectation at this point.
#16 Trying to figure out if I should pay: I should pay on the date to be polite but I also should also have us split because we’re equal but there’s a gender pay gap so I should pay because I’m a man but gender roles are meant to be cast aside? I…I….I AHHH
#17 I was the victim of domestic violence, and was laughed out of the police station when I attempted to report it.
#18 The level of depresion men face while basically having no support system and forever being told to just be tough and push on..
#19 I have a terrible issue with crying, even when I’m at my worst and feel a constant urge to cry for weeks straight, I won’t and can’t. Sometimes I think I can’t cry without permission. I am well aware that I don’t need permission, but my body doesn’t care.
#20 Just how f*****g lonely it is. You are expected at all times to be a simultaneous combination of guardian, emotional caregiver, leader, and provider, on TOP of being relatively successful and 100% independent.
And you have to ALWAYS be these things, 100% of the time. It’s emotionally exhausting.
I know that readers may see this and list any number of the various advantages our unfair society affords men, and I won’t argue that they aren’t there. But I will state that I feel, and probably many other men would agree with this, that society doesn’t really care about the emotional, mental, or social health of men.
Chris Rock famously said that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally; men are loved under the condition of what they can provide. I agree with that statement. It’s incredibly dehumanizing and dispiriting to constantly be told what society expects from you and wants you to be, as if all you are is a paycheck to support a family or a fearless leader who exudes strength and never falters.