30 People Share The Exact Moment They Realized They Needed To Break Things Off With Someone

Published 2 years ago

Whether the relationship is worth saving or if it’s time to part ways is a tough and heart-wrenching decision to make. Or actually, it might be an easy one because you are finally done putting up with someone’s shenanigans. Usually, it takes years and multiple things to pile up to reach a breaking point in a relationship. Yet, sometimes it takes just one incident to understand that you’re better off without someone.

Recently, someone on Reddit asked other platform users to share their “oh hell no” moments that made them end a relationship. Thousands of people shared their rather unenviable situations when they reached the snapping point. Read some of them below and let us know what would your dealbreaker in a relationship be?

More info: Reddit

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Image source: HassanOfTheStory, Timur Weber

She had been abusive the whole relationship and had successfully isolated me from all my friends. Except one.

This guy stuck with me through it all, and put up with horrendous amounts of s**t that I should never have let happen.

She tried everything. She bullied him, called him a pedo, told me she can’t be with someone who has him as a friend, called him racist, everything she could drive him away or pull me away. I didn’t understand what was happening but he did. I thought I was just unlucky enough that the two people I loved most couldn’t understand each other.

Then she gave me an ultimatum. Either she is going to be at our wedding or he is.

I picked him.


Image source: Upstairs_Ad_7450, Christian Erfurt

I had a dream where everyone in my life treated me like she treats me every day and in my dream it made me kill myself, I woke up in tears and realized truly just how abusive she is.


Image source: KorinTor, Stanley Morales

My best friend is female we have been friends for 18 years, was out with a new gf and ran into NY friend at the mall. Friend hugged me and I introduced her and I though all was well until we got home. She freaked out and said she broke “girl code” and I wasn’t allowed to talk to her anymore… side note she had male friends that I didn’t freak out over, I pointed that out and she said “it’s different, you’re a guy” to which I said she has issues and this wasn’t going to work out and I never looked back.

I’m not throwing away a life long friend to appease a jealous girlfriend.


Image source: Slydermv, Ekrulila

Ex wife started an argument with me one morning when I was headed to the funeral of a childhood friend. I asked if she could not do this right now. Her response was “ohhhh, poor you.” That was the beginning of the end.


Image source: Anxious_Cap51, Claudia Wolff

When I had been the sole breadwinner for fifteen months (then-husband was physically and mentally healthy), deeply in debt, house was always filthy, hadn’t hung out with my friends in a year, and hadn’t been intimate for a few months.

I was standing on a chair tying a noose to an I-beam in the basement when it occurred to me that I was basically letting this guy kill me. So I walked instead.


Image source: OLPopsAdelphia, Alex Green

She crawled through my doggie door at 1:30 am, went through my phone, and then asked me why I was talking to another woman.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I broke up with her a month earlier. We were not in a relationship when she pulled that stunt.


Image source: weirdest_wallflower

Never introduced me to his friends. Would actively avoid being seen with me by people he knew. I pretty quickly asked him what was his problem. His answer was that I needed to change my appearance because he didn’t want people seeing him date a weird goth chick. Dumped him right then.


Image source: OkMorning6362, cottonbro

She cut herself in front of me to see if I’d cry about it.


Image source: lordbyronxiv, Keira Burton

She got really upset at me at a party (nothing I did) and started a huge verbal argument. Then I demanded that we leave because it was inappropriate to do this as guests in someone’s home. On the way to our place, she hit me a bunch of times demanding “answers” for someone that I slept with before we even met.

She got even more angry and physically violent once we got home, to the point where I had to restrain her before she hurt me or herself for that matter. She screamed to let me go and that if I didn’t she would scream for the police — she looked me in the eye then said “who are they going to believe..?”

For context, we’re both roughly 5’11” but I’ve got about 80 pounds on her. I’m a black man, she’s a white woman. I have never been more afraid of being shot by the police than that night.


Image source: bluemorphine, Polina Zimmerman

He refused to use soap. Yes, this includes hand soap. He believed that water and scrubbing was enough to keep yourself clean and it was important not to strip your body of its natural oils. I must admit, he did have really nice hair and skin but he always smelled bad and I could not get over the fact that he didn’t even use soap after using the bathroom. I have no clue what he does if his hands get sticky or really dirty, I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. Thankfully we never got physical or made it official, but we “talked” and went on dates for a month and I still get the ick when I think about him.


Image source: swiftsafflina, Andrea Piacquadio

There was a lot of c**p but this was the final straw.

I locked the door before going to bed one night when he was out late with friends. He had lost his house key and never bothered to mention it, which was somehow my fault.

He woke me up by banging on the window and when I let him in began screaming and throwing things at me. Telling me to pack up my s**t and leave and locked me out of our bedroom. I slept on the couch.

Next morning he acted completely normal, like nothing had happened. I was gone that day because I no longer felt safe.


Image source: Kholoblicin, Снежана

I caught her banging the guy she picked to be my best man on the preacher’s desk on our wedding day.


Image source: danetrain05, KoolShooters

When I was 16/17, I dated a guy who was in town for the summer. He was so cool (I thought) and I had a car so I would drive us on dates and junk. He really made my heart flutter. If I said no to him, he’d get upset a bit, but it didn’t seem to be a huge issue. Like, if he wanted me to drive him somewhere to drop him off to hang with his friends, normally I would but a few times, it was like a 30min drive and I said no.

Then he hit me once. We were in the car and he wanted me to drop him off at a girl’s house and I asked why. He wouldn’t really answer and then admitted that he was using me for my drug connections and my car. I was surprised and said no. I’d drop him off where he was staying and then we were done. He hit me. I pulled over and kicked him out of my car and drove away.


Image source: TrueEggo, Andrea Piacquadio

I had just been medically discharged from the navy (honorable, and not relative to back story other than to set mood).

I started dating a girl I met around 2 weeks after returning home and 6months into the relationship she developed a tumor (cancer) and I had to drive her to radiation therapy and doctors appointments 2-3 times a week.

We lived around an hour apart but we made it work and I’d drive to her after I got out of college classes and drop her off at her appointments, go back to another class and then come pick her up and take her home.

Fast forward a year later into the relationship her younger sister informed me that she had been lying to me the entire time and that she in fact did not have cancer but was using me to drop her off to her side piece who worked at the hospital. To make it worse, both of her parents knew about it and neither felt it was necessary to inform me.

Never saw her again, never even really “ended” it, just never f*****g went back her way and have been better for it ever since.

Edit : Answering a few questions.

1. I verified by visiting the hospital AFTER her sister had informed me, that was when I learned that her parents had known because I was informed that they sometimes picked her up with her side piece (I guess he didn’t have a car either?) and that the hospital staff just thought I was her brother…

Sub-edit to #1 for clarification: I asked the front desk clerk/nurse on a day that I would have normally dropped my Ex off if she had been in that day for her appointment, that’s when she informed me that she didn’t have any appointments and wasn’t a patient, yes, the nurse violated HIPAA by providing that information.

2. Physical symptoms, she had issues with hair falling out and patchy areas and she was exhausted what seemed like 24/7.


Image source: Good_nuff, Vera Arsic

When he made new female friends that I wasn’t allowed to meet/talk to.


Image source: sayziell, Rhema

I was dating this girl for 3 years (broken up now) it was coming to the end of the relationship. We were arguing constantly at one point eventually I just started to agree with her to get her to shut up, so one morning we’re awake in bed and she says “we should have a kid” I say yes knowing if I don’t it’ll just lead to another argument. She tears up and gives me a hug, I hug her and I say well it’s gonna take some time because you gotta get off your birth control and she says, with the straightest face in the world “I stopped a month ago” we had been having sex 3 to 4 times a week and I never pulled out any of those times. At that moment right there I decided no more sex and I was gonna end the relationship. You absolutely do not make a life changing decision for your partner without consulting with them first.


Image source: ElegantRaise3, Ketut Subiyanto

In a gay situationship.

He wanted me to start taking estrogen/transgender drugs to “have a more feminine physique” and become a femboy.


Image source: listenandhearme, Croquetto

My ex-boyfriend was angry his mom woke him up at 10 in the morning via phone call, so after the call, he punched a hole in his door, threw his phone at the window, woke me up forcefully, and yelled at me to buy a new door so his parents wouldn’t kick him out.


Image source: EatsHerVeggies, MART PRODUCTION

I was on a trip out of town with him and we were out to dinner with one of his friends. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but he said something and I corrected him because what he said was factually wrong. When he tried to argue his friend backed me up and also pointed out that he was wrong. This enraged him, though at the time I didn’t know it.

He waited until his friend went to the bathroom and then grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head down so forcefully it hit the seat of the booth. He’d been a raging a*****e for most of the relationship and I was pretty much over the relationship at this point due to his constant temper tantrums but this crossed such a line that I was completely stunned. Even more stunned that no one in a crowded restaurant seemed to notice or care. I’ve never been so scared.

I knew in that moment that if I stayed and left that restaurant with him there was a very likely chance he was going to hurt me. It took me a few minutes to process/gather myself, but I realized this s**t was beyond f****d and I had to gtfo now. I excused myself to the bathroom, called an Uber, and went straight to the airport which was only a few minutes away. I told the agent I needed the soonest flight to my home city— there was one leaving in 15 minutes. I had none of my stuff, the airport was empty and I think she could sense my urgency so she called the gate and I made on the plane. By the time my phone began ringing from him realizing I was gone I was buckling my seat.

Found him lurking near my house a few times after that but made it real clear I would go to the police full force if it continued, which luckily scared him off. It took me a long time to process everything and I still get spooked when I see vehicles like his, but I’m super grateful I made it out when I did.


Image source: bynienar, Alice Castro

I had just found out my dog had a tumor and he needed surgery to remove it. About 2-3 hours after finding out the news and telling my ex she thought it was a great time to try and pressure me into making vacation plans for her spring break a few months out because we were running out of time to make them. I had no clue how much the surgery was going to cost or if there would be other treatments besides surgery at that point. Since she was in grad school the expectation was I’d pay for the majority of said vacation due to the difference in our income too… There was a very big OH HELL NAH moment where I lost my s**t and let me know I didn’t give a f**k about her spring break and the only thing that mattered was my dog’s health and safety. She’s now gone, my dogs healthy, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time!


Image source: 360Entertainment, Adam Kontor

I’ve talked about this before but I had a real Karen of an ex who was easily the meanest person I’ve ever met. The turning point for me in the relationship was when she made me rehome one of my dogs when I lived with her, she claimed after four months of me living with her that her lease wouldn’t allow it. So I tearfully rehomed my German Shepard chow mix and got called a little bit for bawling like a baby when I did it by my ex. The next week I’m chilling in the house when In walks my ex with a basset hound. I asked her about her lease and she straight up told me she lied about that because she hated my big dog, the same one both of her kids loved. At the time an apartment was out of the question due to my horrible credit so I bought a camper and moved it onto my parents property shortly after. I’m now in an amazing relationship with someone just as goofy as me and we’re currently house hunting!


Image source: Mrs0Murder, Mossan Cat

It was already heading down that way, but what got me was one day when he invited his friend to my house (without telling me, while I was at work), and when I came home, they started talking about my cat who they thought should put down because she was ‘feral’ and given the chance they would do so.

They claimed she was ‘feral’ simply because she spent the first weeks of her life outside before she had her leg amputated and found her way to me. Ex didn’t like her because 1. I’d gotten her when I was with a previous ex, and 2. she was mean to him because she didn’t like the way he handled her and never listened to her warnings to leave her alone.


Image source: UnicornQueefsGlitter, Gustavo Fring

We were hanging out at his house and he kept pressuring me to have sex. I was still a young, naive virgin so I refused. We started watching a movie instead. I went to the bathroom and he stole my car keys. Once I was back on the couch he started trying to take off my clothes. I was scared so I grabbed my purse to leave. That’s when he jingles my keys. He said I could have them back once I slept with him. I just ran outside and called my dad. My dad showed up and threatened to beat his a*s if my keys weren’t returned. Got my keys and got the f**k out. He continued to stalk me for the next 7 years.


Image source: c3p0u812, Niklas Bildhauer

Found a stack of papers sort of stashed in my ex’s stuff. It was every email from my gmail account printed out so she could read them at work or something I guess. I dunno, it was weird. It didn’t work out.


Image source: _John_Dillinger, Timur Weber

I was sitting on the couch feeling like I was going to die after a medical procedure when she decided it would be the perfect time to try and punch me in the head because I wasn’t paying enough attention to her. I picked her dumb a*s up, carried her down six flights of stairs while getting kicked, bit, punched in the head etc and dumped her outside of the building. Went back up to the garage and drove myself straight to the hospital.

I was dying from sepsis as it turned out. I was in the ICU for a week, needed six surgeries and two years to recover. I have permanent kidney damage.


Image source: Mango_Toes__, RODNAE Productions

When he was polyamorous (literally dating other people) but got super upset and jealous when I would hug my friends.


Image source: Modifiedpoutine, Keira Burton

She went on vacation to have a spiritual awakening by doing drugs in the jungle and came home accusing me of being a demon.


Image source: luarne, Tima Miroshnichenko

I was in a 5 yr relationship with this guy that was psychologically abusive. One year, my sister-in-law was having pregnancy complications so my family all decided to go to their house for Christmas so she didn’t have to travel the 5 hrs to get to us. I told my bf and he said “well obvious you’re not going”. Turns out not getting to see my family on Christmas was just the push I needed.


Image source: Separate-Ad-9481, Sarah Chai

First Mother’s Day as a mum, and just got my first period after a brutal emergency c section. I was so sick I could only crawl to the toilet. Should have been hospitalised, but too mentally incoherent to know. Ex ignored the special occasion, ignored my need for help, and ignored our newborn who I was too unwell to feed or hold so he could go out with his mates. When I called him beginning him to come home in tears he made it sound like he was doing me a favour. Kicked him to the curb as soon as I was strong enough. No regrets.


Image source: NintendoCapri5un, SHVETS production

Found out she was lying about having cancer.

Violeta Lyskoit

Violeta is one free soul. She feels the most alive when traveling to new places and seeing the beautiful world out there.

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ask reddit, ask reddit subreddit, break up stories, oh hell no moments, red flags, red flags in a relationship, relationship red flags, signs to end a relationship, toxic relationships
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