20 Times People Cut Someone Off Because They Were A Terrible Friend
When we are young and idealistic, we think that our friendships will last forever. We even go so far as to commemorate our bonds with a physical symbol such as a friendship band or in some cases a matching tattoo. But as we get older, we realise that circumstances change, therefore people change and so do our relationships with those people.
One Redditor posed a question online asking folks whether they’ve been through something similar with a BFF. Where for some reason or another, the friendship reached an expiration date. Netizens came forward with their honest and heartbreaking stories citing the different reasons why their friendships did not last, reminding us that sometimes people come into our lives for a season for a reason.
More info: Reddit
Me ghosting them.
I tend to lose touch with people when I’m no longer physically within their presence. Like, I lost my high school friends when I went to college. Lost college buddies when I graduated and started working. Lost my close colleagues when pandemic hit and remote work became a thing. Now I have no friends since I rarely leave the house anymore.
She was one of my dearest friends. Then my mom died unexpectedly, and my dear friend didn’t contact me. She was on Facebook, she saw the post. She just…didn’t contact me. I couldn’t believe it. With every day that passed, I kept waiting for my best friend to contact me and acknowledge my mom’s sudden death. She didn’t. The pain she put me through during what was already the worst time of my life…I hope she knows how violently scummy that was.
No called-no showed to my wedding. We had been drifting apart already for a few years due to work and other life things getting in the way. But I made an effort to still invite him to because he had been an important part of my life and helped me through some hard times. He never responded to the rsvp. I called him up to see if he had lost it, gave him the date, and told him I was excited to see him there and celebrate.
Didn’t show up, didn’t even send a text or call with a reason, never even offered a single congratulations.
He instead messaged me a few weeks after with the audacity to ask if I wanted to take some photos of his dads car that he was trying to sell. When I confronted him and told him how disappointed I was, he gave some b******t about how we’ll always be friends no matter what.
Then almost a year later he comes back into town and texts my brother “Yo bro let’s hit up the bars tonight” and my brother as the ride or die he is lit him up. “Dude you bailed on my brothers wedding, never offered an apology or reason (he now claims his car broke down, but no text was ever sent) and you’ve never made any effort to check in on our lives. We don’t go out to bars anymore, we’re both in serious relationships or married, and your friend you bailed on is about to have a kid. F**k off”. I’m super grateful for my brother for that.
As for my former friend. F**k you. Actions speak louder than words.
Her bf strangles her and put her in a choke hold one night bc she wouldn’t let him have the keys to her car as he was intoxicated. I came over the next day to offer comfort and encouraged her to rethink the relationship. She took him back and now I’m not allowed to contact them for ” trying to drive a wedge between them”
Image source: Kitfitten
I’ve lost like all but two of my ‘friends’ because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs.
I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that.
She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around.
How’s this for oddly specific:
Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever – he held a grudge for years.
Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we’re at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket.
Maybe he’ll call me in 2063.
I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the 20
He kept embarrassing me in front of girls to make himself seem cooler.
Sometimes he’d bring up embarrassing stories that i obviously wouldn’t want someone to hear. Often they were things I told him in confidence because i needed to get it off my chest.
I asked him to stop but he just kept trying it. Sometimes he’d deny doing it altogether and other times he’d bring up something i did years ago to justify why he was doing it and other times he’d just not care. In the end i just stopped talking to him
Dude was a massive prick.
Of all the toxic friends I’ve had to drop in the past two years, there was one thing in common: feeling the need to put me down, whether they were insecure or just “making a joke.” Not worth any of that.
They s**t-shamed me and didn’t support me when the guy I lost my virginity to spread my naked pics.
He told me that atheists should be second-class citizens, kept out of any form of government, and be prevented from voting or running for office.
I’m an atheist. I’m also a veteran and active in local politics. He only volunteers for his church, and the most political thing he has done is fly a flag and vote.
I thanked him and never said another word to him again. This was ten years before Trump was elected. He hasn’t bothered to reach out.
She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her “business”.
When he started dating my ex but hid it from me for an entire year. Only told me when I was furious at him for a totally different reason, then when I was reasonably mad and told him to just leave me alone and that we weren’t friends anymore, he went and told all of our mutual friends that I was in a murderous rage and it would be dangerous to hang out with me. Friends told me they didn’t believe him but that it was just easier to go along with it than call him out on his BS and that I wouldn’t be invited to things he was invited to.
Realized that day that my (former) best friend was a lying sociopath and the rest of my friends cared more about not making waves than they did about me.
Left the whole lot of them behind and went and found new friends. Best decision of my life.
It was with a group. A bunch of guys I hung out with in high school and college, the quintessential role playing crowd. They were fun in high school, but when I got into college, I noticed these guys were kind of…well….dysfunctional. As in, none of them could keep jobs, none of them could enjoy a relationship, and they all sat around and complained about how the entire world was unfair, how it didn’t recognize their collective intellectual gifts.
Meanwhile, I was not just busting my a*s in school but working my way through to pay for it. And while my dating life wasn’t the best, I managed to have a couple of long-term girlfriends. But if I was going out on a date, there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t hanging out with them.
But I’d still spend time with them. When one of them would lose a job, I’d lend him money. When another of them was arrested for DUI in a small town 150 miles away at 9 pm on a Sunday night, I drove down there to bail him out. And so on.
Then my father had a sudden illness and went into a coma. Died a week later. During that time, only one of them called and came to the funeral.
A week after the funeral, they just started calling me again as if nothing had happened. As in, “Hey, heard your dad died. Bummer. We’re meeting at Dennis’ apartment at 7.”
I dumped them, with the sole exception of the friend who showed up to the funeral. I remain friends with him to this day.
But I remember reading something once: You are the sum total of the five people with whom you spend the most time. And, you know what? That’s absolutely true. What they value, how they spend their time and energy, and everything else has a way of rubbing off onto you.
So when I dumped them, I made it a point to cultivate better friends. Friends who gave a damn.
Every once in a while, I still bump into one or the other of them. Two of them never could hold down jobs and live with their aging parents. Good decision on my part.
She was unvaccinated and refused to take a covid test before seeing me. My mother was terminally ill and severely immuno-compromised, so I was absolutely trying to minimise the risk of getting covid so I could still see my Mum.
She refused to take a test, twice, despite kind and calm requests and explanations, on the basis that she “didn’t want to get a sinus infection.” (This was in the time of nasal swabs, not mouth swabs, for covid tests. You know, those nasal swabs that are sterile and can’t cause infection.)
I’m 100% sure that it wasn’t about a sinus infection. It was about control. She had been annoyed because I hadn’t validated her anti-vax stance in the past.
Similarly, I know she wanted more validation for her religious views, which she’d acquired in her 30s and which I didn’t share. I’d told her that I was happy her faith made her happy, but I think she wanted me to truly share her beliefs. I’d also said that her sister’s bisexuality was “fine with me” when she’d stated that a wedding of 2 women was “not what God wants.”
I think all of those different views just threatened the way she saw the world, and how she saw herself.
Her last texts thanked me for “sharing my views” re covid and it’s potential to kill my Mum, then became pseudo-concerned when I didn’t reply. I read the whole situation as “I want to say whatever I want to you, but I want to still feel like a nice person, so please reply and give me that validation.”
I didn’t reply to her, but I still ask myself whether the mature thing to do would have been to clearly reply and state that I didn’t want to stay in contact. It’s taken me until now (over a year later) to see through the pain and formulate what I might have said.
We’d been friends since the first days of high school. 20+ years. In essence we just aquired very different views from each other as adults, but I can’t pretend her attitude towards my Mum, and towards the horrible journey my family had to take, wasn’t devastating.
Life is a bloody painful journey at times, that’s for sure.
Feelings made things complicated. He knew I’d had a crush on him when we were in college, but he started to treat me like more than a friend – told me he’d want to date me if he wasn’t with his girlfriend, called me his soulmate, I was his lock screen picture on his phone, he spontaneously invited himself on my solo trip to Europe the week after he broke up with said girlfriend – and I fell for him, bigtime.
I went to therapy to talk everything out, then finally worked up the nerve to tell him how I felt. I told him I loved him and that we needed to be more than friends or we couldn’t be anything at all, because this weird in-between we’d been floating in was messing me up in the head. He told me he couldn’t reciprocate my feelings so we agreed to give each other space.
That was 4 years ago now and neither of us has reached out since that final conversation. I still miss him, but I don’t regret speaking up for myself
There was a position open in a different department. I encouraged her to apply and told her I would be applying as well. What was the worst that would happen? They tell us we don’t qualify? Up until this point, we had been best friends for 3 years. Hung out with each others families and saw each other almost every weekend.
We found out at the same time. They emailed her letting her know she didn’t meet the qualifications. I received a call shortly from HR after they sent her that email asking me which interview time worked best for me. My previous experience is what qualified me. She got mad at me that I got an interview and she didn’t. Even contacted HR to ask why I got an interview and she didn’t. She stopped talking to me the same day we were both contacted by HR for that position. She deleted me off all social media.
I tried to talk to her about it but she flat out said she no longer wanted to be friends. I didn’t get the position, made being at work very awkward for the following 4 years I stayed. She was 35 and I was 34. Grown a*s adults yet she was acting like a child.
Turns out she’s one of the those that want the best for you as long as it’s not better than her. I ended up promoting out of the department and she’s still there.
I found out she’d been a willing participant, and even architect of, several good people losing their jobs or being scapegoated for stuff they didn’t do. She’s a horrible person. And that was that.